Darn The Chicken

I wouldn’t mind donating my mind to science… just to see what’s up there…

About 28 years ago, I felt the hardest job I would ever have was taking care of Mackenzie. Fast forward. I realize it is now taking care of me. As I shared last month, technology is not within my wheelhouse. Apparently neither is the efficiency of management of the day to day.

It started about 10ish years ago while writing on the board and forgetting how to spell a word I knew how to spell. I remember just standing there and thinking oh my god what is happening to me. Just staring at the board trying to put the letters in the correct spot. Then it happened more frequently. Simple words. And I was an English teacher.

The “change.” First the hot flashes. Alicia Keys couldn’t bellow “this girl is on fire” any louder. For at least two years I wore straight skirts and sleeveless tops all through winter just so I could teach. I asked the janitor to turn the heat down. I had a fan. The kids could see their breath as they huddled together like Jack London trying to build a fire in my classroom.

There is little chatter about this stage of life… I feel like there is a whole demographic of women just floating around the day, and it’s something like Catniss and her bow and arrow hoping to find something in her target, and Donald Sutherland quietly intoning “may the odds forever be in your favor….”

My new favourite line is, “Let’s circle back to that shall we?”

The days seem to go like this…

I need to take some chicken out of the freezer for supper…

Why did I buy this bleach? Don’t buy this again…Buy the no splash kind. As it splashes on the floor.

AGAIN.

Need to get baseball tickets for the end of April. Are they out yet? I should look. My brother and his wife are coming. Look at the three emails I already looked at twice, get up and forget to look at the baseball tickets.

No chicken out yet, but I have thought about it several times…lots of self interruptions. Is that a thing?

And I am not turning the heat on. TXU makes way too much money. So I have been freezing with a space heater…. Just to make a point. To whom, I have no idea….

Supposedly my Cholesterol HDMI is getting higher but not sure how when I seemingly forget to eat chicken.

Gibson needs her nails cut (likely three months ago at this point)….Pivot…Circle Back.

Ponder American health care in the short walk from the house to the cottages. Do I really have to pay all these bills? Get to the cottages and Google search how to get out of paying medical bills.

Back and forth between cottages and the house, retracing steps, forgetting or remembering 27 other things along the way. Forget about healthcare and pivot back to wanting to travel to New Zealand.

When is allergy season in Texas because I have a scratch in my throat I can’t get rid of. Back to the cottage and Google allergy season in Texas.

No chicken yet. And cleaning of the cottage seems to be taking much longer than it should.

Start thinking about my first truck in high school and smashing into the side of a cement post.

No reason for that thought. Why is Hawaii so expensive? Again. No reason.

I need to write my article. I want to write about the quiet of late winter, the coming of spring and how I love the sun and spring in Texas.

I wonder if the Baja California beaches are nice. I need a new bathing suit.

Google search.

Darn the chicken.

Shaboozy comes on the radio and I think, “I have heard this song since last July.” Oh July! Buddy John makes the best pork ribs. Are they pork? I need to ask him. I won’t. I will forget.

Somehow my middle school bullies come to mind. Marilyn Howard. She flattened me out on the playground and made fun of me for having a Toni perm. Didn’t we all have Toni perms in the 70s?

And why did I have to go with my parents to the old folks home and sing “How Great Thou Art” on Sundays….

As I am cleaning: why is 1923 on Paramount and Reacher on Prime, and determining that I spend too much money on TV… remembering when we all had cable and complained it cost too much, and then pivot to do I have dog food.

Amongst 12 other seemingly random thoughts and haphazardly wandering around with lots to do but in apparent circles…

Still no chicken out.

And the day circles back… over and over… 408 different tabs just firing up there on all 1 1/4 cylinders…  and the repeated steps around the house because I forget what I am doing or was trying to do… circle back shall we….

Wow humidity really does a number on my hair… as I am heading out already two hours later than I planned.

Where are my shoes… where are the water jugs…

Do I need a pony tail? Does anyone care about my hair? No one cares.

Get in the truck. Abandon whatever else. As I am passing through the kitchen I see the dishes I thought I had put in the dishwasher.

Where are the keys? In the truck that I took with me the first time before I started the task of quantifying turning liquid nitrogen into lime juice and pontificating how fast light can travel through a spatula and whether I can patent that or not. Because that is what a woman’s mind does….

What’s on the list… I get it all done… eventually… it just takes a substantial amount of time now…. I can run a business. Seemingly.

I need gas. I should go to Costco for gas. Good god no it will be $408 at Costco. Deliberate the cost of all things for the past 25 years. Shell it is. Think about rising fuel costs and first grade losing track and field and then wondering what the weather will be like today.

Thinking about my article now due tomorrow. Spring. I am going to write about spring at the cottages. I like spring. Tornado watch? Probably should not write about spring in Texas then. Bad PR for the state.

I need a haircut. When was the last time I had a haircut? I ponder. Process of elimination working backwards…. I have no idea…. That leads to thinking I need to shave my legs. I don’t get the connection.

Benson Boone crooning please don’t take these beautiful things away… is likely a sign my mind is going…

Later, As I drive home, Carrie Underwood comes on… slash a hole in all four tires and I immediately think about everyone who has betrayed me in my entire life….

No gas. Nothing out for supper. And no article written yet. Satire? Sadly not.

Tomorrow it is.